Tag Archives: acceptance

Willingness to Change

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“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself”                                                                                       -Leo Tolstoy

Breaking the momentum of past habits is the challenge here. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. In order for me to change my behavior I have to change my thoughts. In order for me to change my thoughts, I have to be completely honest with myself and admit that I needed to look at my character flaws. I had to look at all aspects of my life, not just the ones I’m not afraid of changing, but the ones I’m most afraid of changing. The ones that I don’t even think are flaws. The ones that I am in such denial about that when someone points it out, I am in full military rage ready to nuke your head right off your body. Those are the ones.

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Fear of not being good enough

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“Just being ourselves is one of the biggest fears of humans. We have learned to live our life trying to satisfy other people’s demands. We have learned to live by other people’s points of view because of the fear of not being accepted and of not being good enough for someone else.”                     ~ Miguel Angel Ruiz

Fear of not being good enough is the second of the three king fears. Last time I talked about the fear of rejection. This time I will talk about not being good enough. As with all these blogs I write, they require you to be very vigilant and truthful to yourself. Are you really open enough to hear the message or are you letting “FEAR” decide ‘This doesn’t apply to me?’ And not being open to see the possibility that you are not in control. It is really, pride, ego, self-centeredness, selfish, self-seeking, fear itself, that keeps you from being open, honest and willing to look at yourself.

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Letting go of control

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“If you want real control, Drop the illusion of control”

-Anonymous

          “The only thing you will ever have in this world is this moment, and the one thing you will never have is control. Control is nothing but fear. Let go of the idea that you are in control Steven. You control absolutely nothing. The sooner you realize that the sooner you will find personal freedom.”

          That was one of the first things my teacher Jack taught me. I balked, rebelled, and fought him tooth and nail on that point till I was blue in the face. We went rounds for at least a month till I was ready, willing, to listen.

          He said it was quite simple, that I controlled nothing. That fear is what feeds control and in just the thought of me not being in control, feared jumped up with all its might defending that ‘yes I am in control.’ And then he went on to teach me the meaning of what he said.

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Forgiveness

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To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.    — Lewis B. Smedes

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.     -– Mahatma Gandhi

The starting point is the self. Only clarity, willingness to change, is effective now. A correct relationship to yourself is primary, for from it flow all possible correct relationships with others and the Divine. In order for me to have a correct relationship with myself, I first have to forgive myself.

Forgiveness of myself is the key that will open all other doors that will lead me out of selfish, self-seeking, self-loathing, egotistical thoughts driven by a hundred forms of fear with the three kings fears of rejection, not being good enough, and not getting what I want leading the way.

As with anything that I do, knowledge is not enough, I have to incorporate it into my core and this requires me to do it over and over and over again. And this holds true with forgiveness as well. Practice is what is needed,

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