To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. — Lewis B. Smedes
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. -– Mahatma Gandhi
The starting point is the self. Only clarity, willingness to change, is effective now. A correct relationship to yourself is primary, for from it flow all possible correct relationships with others and the Divine. In order for me to have a correct relationship with myself, I first have to forgive myself.
Forgiveness of myself is the key that will open all other doors that will lead me out of selfish, self-seeking, self-loathing, egotistical thoughts driven by a hundred forms of fear with the three kings fears of rejection, not being good enough, and not getting what I want leading the way.
As with anything that I do, knowledge is not enough, I have to incorporate it into my core and this requires me to do it over and over and over again. And this holds true with forgiveness as well. Practice is what is needed,
“Real surrender comes when one starts to know the greatness of God.” – Haidakhan Babaji
As one starts to become aware of the greatness of God in all aspects of life, then they will be better able to trust and surrender to that god.
Just to be clear, you call your higher power by whatever name suits your personal relationship with him, her, or it. There is no prequalifying or defending when it comes to your beliefs. This is not a religious forum but sectarian. For the sake of ease, I will be referring to ‘Higher Power’ as God and he/him.
When my teacher Jack, back in 2001, told me I had to start to ‘Trust and Surrender’ my first thought is ‘I’m not surrendering to anyone.’ To me the term surrender meant to lose, give up, be a failure, basically not be good enough.
So, Jack started the arduous task of educating me on just what trust and surrender really means. The very first thing he said was “To trust and surrender takes an enormous amount of courage and wisdom, something you lack at this moment. The second thing is you have to let go of the thought that you are in control. The one thing you will never have in this world is control, and the only thing you will ever have is this moment.” That would become a mantra until I incorporated it into my core and it became one with me.