My path to becoming a Spiritual Warrior began when I was just a child. I always believed in God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit, but not in Catholicism, the religion in which I was raised. I was eight years old and out in my back woods when I lay down and prayed to God to give me wings so I could fly away from the place I was in. I didn’t feel as if I fit or belonged, I was different from all the other kids who laughed and played. No wings came that day but what did come was a nudge from my higher power who I choose to call God. A voice in my head said, “You can’t run from your path. You have to go through it and I will take you there.” At eight years old I knew somehow that that was God speaking to me.
I grew up domesticated like everyone else in the world by learning how to behave, to fit in, to be accepted by my peers, family, friends, and society. The three king fears quickly grabbed a hold of me and sank its claws in. The fear of being rejected, the fear of not being good enough, and the fear of not getting what I want. All my decisions would be made based on one of those fears.
As the years went by, I experienced extreme highs as well as earth-shattering lows. I used drugs and alcohol to cope with both. But in reality, they only exacerbated the situation. At thirty years of age, I found my way into Alcoholics Anonymous and was introduced to spirituality. I discovered I can have a higher power of my understanding, and this was the beginning of my building a relationship with my higher power.
I had amazing teachers come into my life when I was ready, and who left when we were done. I was never satisfied with, “There is a god and I’m not him.” I wanted more, so the more I sought, the more I was shown. The first thing that was taught to me was that I am a divine magnificent spirit of love and light and that I had to incorporate that into the core of my being. Just knowing the words wasn’t enough, knowledge wasn’t enough. All that I would learn from here on out would have to be instilled into my very essence – my soul – for me to really reap the rewards and benefits of the lesson.
For the next twenty-five years I learned from Shamans in New York and Colorado, Medicine Men in South Dakota, and my many travels to Mexico’s Sonoran Desert though my biggest teachings come from God himself. I pay attention today. His wisdom comes through from people, animals, the earth, sun, moon, and sky. God always enters into everything in equal partnership. Today I am one with the energies of the universe and everything in it. I Trust and Surrender to my higher power today relinquishing control, ego, and selfishness. I am of service to all my brothers and sisters and now walk in utter peace and serenity.