As I walk my path, paying attention, learning, and listening to everything that’s going on around me, I had a wonderful and monumental growing experience. I talk about letting go of fear, control, and ego, as I practice this everyday myself. I talk about building your own personal relationship with a God of your understanding, and I have built an amazing relationship with the God of my understanding.

As Haidakhan Babaji teaches, “This is sectarian, supportive of all religions which guide human beings toward a life lived in harmony with the Divine.” It is in this way that I have a relationship with Babaji, Great Spirit, The Holy Spirit, and Jesus, and it is in this relationship that I am able to commune with them all.

The story I am about to share with you is one of extraordinary growing experience. I hope you enjoy.

I just pulled into the parking lot of Horseshoe Bend Park in Page Arizona. I got out of my car, grabbed my bottle of water, and headed to the beginning of the trailhead. The man at the gate said it is about a fifteen-minute walk or so to Horseshoe bend.

Just as I started my walk, Great Spirit appeared out of no-where and started walking with me on my right. He was tall and wearing Deer hide pants, a matching shirt with fringes on the arms, unbuttoned, and his hair was waist long and in a braid. He said, “Hello Steven, how are you today?”

I told him that I was doing great, having just come back from a tour of both upper and lower Antelope canyons. They were so beautiful and rich in history.

He said, “That is wonderful to hear. I am glad you enjoyed yourself and the Canyons. I have a question for you. Since from the time you first asked for my help, what have you learned?”

I have been walking a path of spirituality for over twenty-five years now, but it was five and a half years ago that I asked God with all the sincerity and honesty I had to help me change my thoughts to change my actions. I could not go on the way I was living in fear and not knowing what to do.

I answered, “First, I learned that I am a divine magnificent spirit of love and light. That I am not the thoughts of fear of not being good enough, not getting what I want or being rejected. Love and light are what makes all of us human, not fear.

“I learned how to start to build and continue to build my own personal relationship with you, Jesus, Babaji and the Holy Spirit. That by talking to you all every day I would become closer to you all.

“That by trusting and surrendering my life and my will over to you I would be blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Thy will, not my will, be done.”

“That is an excellent start Steven, what else have you learned?” said Great Spirit.

“I learned that you listen and answer all my prayers, whether I get what I want or not, I never forget to thank you for knowing what’s best for me. I can fund my will all day long as long as I am not attached to the outcome, hence, trusting and surrendering to you, always.

“I also learned that the only thing I have in this world is this moment. Nothing more. So, I learned how to stay present in this moment all the time. I do not live, fear, or regret the past anymore, it is gone and walking side by side with you, I am good. I dream of the future with you always in it, bettering myself, achieving my goals and practicing Karma Yoga as Babaji has taught me.

“I learned that the one thing I will never have is control. This was big and most rewarding. I make a plan each morning and make decisions throughout the day, but absolutely control none of it. As I said earlier, ‘thy will, not my will be done’ In so doing this I am never disappointed if things don’t go the way I want, because trusting you, if I don’t get what I want, I know I will receive something much better than I originally asked for. Also, I stopped trying to control people, places, things, and situations. What a relief that is, to just let things be the way they are knowing that you have everyone and everything in your care. Thank you for teaching me that.” I spoke.

“You are very welcome, and thank you for being an astute student, letting go and turning things over to me. For practicing every day till it was integrated into your core.” Spoke Great Spirit. “What else?”

But just then as I was approaching the horseshoe bend, I stopped to take one more picture of a rock formation then eagerly ran to the edge of the cliff to see this majestic view of one of Gods creations. As I pulled out my phone to start taking pictures my battery was dead. I took so many at Antelope canyon I drained the battery.

I was in a huff as I started the trek back to my car where I have a portable battery charger and a large powerpack charger as well. Great Spirit instantly joined me once again saying “What is the matter? You do not seem happy?”

“I’m not.” I spouted, “I must go all the way back to my car for the dumb battery charger. My phone died.”

“What did you learn?” asked Great Spirit.

“I’m annoyed, frustrated, and aggravated. This sucks.” I said as the fear of me not getting what I want just took control. I wanted to take my pictures; I walked all the way there after all.

“Again, what did you learn?” Said Great Spirit.

As I took a few big deep breaths and slowed my mind, I said “I learned it is not the destination, but the journey. Our journey together was not to come to an end yet and we have more to discuss, so thank you for my battery dying and giving me this time to spend with you.”

“You have become a fast learner Steven. It is a pleasure to walk side by side with you on your path. To see you become the person I intended you to be from your birth. Tell me what else you learned.

As my breathing exercise had slowed my thoughts, I once gain was able to think clearly.

“I learned that I had to go through everything that I went through growing up to be able to be here, right now, with you. That I am grateful for all my life’s lessons. For being bullied in school, having no self-esteem, to becoming a very talented Chef and landing exceptional jobs in my profession. I am grateful that I went through addiction, homelessness, to being a world traveler, seeing over fifty percent of this planet. I have experienced highs and lows of epic proportion, and I needed every one of those experiences to be here right now with you. This relationship I have with you is like no other feeling or sensation I have ever felt or would have ever been able to conceive without experiencing the life I was given.”

“I learned that absolutely nothing happens by mistake in Gods world. The choice’s I make along the way steer me to certain paths but what happens then is not by chance. You are in my, all our lives, guiding and nudging us every second of every moment of every day. The question is, are we paying attention? Today I can say I pay attention to your Prescence in my life. I thank you for that too.”

At this time, we reached the parking lot and as I went to my car, I plugged my phone into my big charger and took the time to use the restroom. When I returned, I grabbed my portable charger and plugged my phone in and was off once again where Great Spirit joined my back on the path down to Horseshoe bend.

“OK Steven, dig deeper, what else have you learned?”

I thought for a few seconds and finally said, “I’m grateful that I went to prison, it was there that I asked for your help and started to build my relationship with you.”

“Yes, but what did they do for you in prison, what service did you receive?”

I said “When I went in, I had Hepatitis C and they cured me of this. I am completely clean now and I am grateful for that.”

“Yes, but what about having this dis-ease?” Great Spirit asked.

I started to be angry again saying “Having this dis-ease sucked. Who would be grateful for that.

“What about the other dis-eases you have?” he asked.

I was flustered at this point saying, “What, I should be thankful that I got asthma from smoking, or interstitial lung disease from smoking crack, or Cirrhosis of the liver from drinking. What about the beginning of Neuropathy, should I be grateful for that?” I asked. “I’ve torn Cartlidge’s and ligaments in my right knee, as well as having stage three kidney disease, so the doctor says. I do not see the reason to be grateful for these and other things that are going wrong in my body.”

“Then I will ask you one more time Steven, what have you learned?” said Great Spirit.

And in that instant, I started to cry, hard. I was glad I was wearing sun glasses as the park was full of people.

I said, “I learned that if I never had no self-esteem, was never bullied, never became a drug addict, never became homeless, never had depression, which you relieved me of, or never went to prison, never had suicidal thoughts or any of the dis-eases we just mentioned I would never have been able to have the compassion or empathy that I now have towards all my brothers and sisters out there going through the same exact thing in one shape or another. It is only because of my experience and having come out the other side am I able to help and inspire another. People who never have had a suicidal thought has no idea of the depths and pain one suffers that this is a logical solution. It is not selfish in the least, having been there, I completely understand the pain and anxiety that bring these thoughts to the surface.

“I can empathize with the person suffering from depression, and I now have compassion for the drug addict and homeless. I can share my story and give them hope, because, I too was there and made it out.”

“Very good Steven, and as we grow closer, I will continue to heal you as well. Anything else you learned?” said Great Spirit.

“Yes” I said. “I learned that it is not I that loves, but love that loves through me that I feel, and share. It is love and light that connects us all. It is you that is the source of this love and that you enter into everyone and everything in equal partnership. And by this way of understanding I see you as well as myself in everyone and everything. The oneness of the universe. The energy force that makes up everything.”

“I can see that you are now ready.” Said Great Spirit. “You have done well and paid attention. It is my honor and privilege to walk side by side with you. You will now enter into the next phase of your growing process.

“Remember Steven, pay attention every second to my presence in this world. See me in people, places, and things. Watch for guidance even from your enemies. For I am always with you and everyone. I am the source of all that is. I love you to the depths which are unfathomable to humans, but remember I am always here.” Said Great Spirit.

And just at that moment I arrived back at Horseshoe Bend. I didn’t race to take pictures though. I found a quiet rock on the edge of the drop off and just sat there going over in my head all that I was just shown. It was so powerful and such an amazing gift. My relationship with God just keeps getting stronger every day and I am grateful for that every second.

That is one story of my interactions with God that I have had. He is constantly showing me things and ways that fear has no place in my life anymore. I pay attention, do Gods will, and Trust and Surrender to his will always.

Each and every person can build their own personal relationship to a higher power of their understanding. All one needs to do is ask. He is waiting.

~AHO MITAKUYE OYASIN