Breaking Patterns

“You see, everything is about belief. Whatever we believe rules our existence, rules our life. The belief system we create is like a little box we put ourselves inside of; we cannot escape because we believe we cannot escape.

That is our situation. Humans create their own binderies, their own limitations. We say what is humanly possible, and what is not possible. Then just because we believe it, it becomes truth for us.”

                                                                                   ~   Don Miguel Ruiz

We live in a world where we all have been domesticated for millennials that we can’t see any other way. What I mean by that is since the beginning of mankind, we were taught and raised how-to live-in fear. Fear that we are not good enough, fear that we are not getting what we want and fear that we will be rejected.

This practice of believing that competition in all we do every day, all day is unhealthy and feeds our fears. We believe that we are in control when in actuality, we are not. We control absolutely nothing. But realizing that we control nothing brings up our fear that we won’t get what we want. If we don’t get what we want, we will not be good enough, and if we are not good enough, we will certainly be rejected. It is a big vicious circle. One that needs to be broken.

My question is, what are you going to do to help break the pattern? Your pattern? The one that you created from your domestication process?

I’ve read many books on this subject of breaking free. The Celestine prophecy, the shack, the way of the peaceful warrior, the alchemist and of course, the Bible. So many more as well, written years ago and up to this day. They all share an insight of various ways to break free of the pattern of fear that we have created but to this day I have yet to see that people really want to break free. I understand that change is difficult, challenging and even downright scary. But when the reward is so great, personal freedom from the bondage of self, it is worth every second of work we must put in.

While most of these books talk about having to have a higher power of your understanding to obtain this freedom, ones that are Buddhist or Toltec in nature do not. They speak of personal freedom by maintaining a manner of living that DEMANDS rigorous honesty.

The first truth I had to come to understand, believe and work into my core belief system was that I am a divine magnificent spirit of love and light. Before I could even consider quieting the judge inside telling me on a consistent basis, whether conscious or unconsciously, that I’m not enough, I had to come to terms with this one simple truth.

“I am a divine magnificent spirit of love and light”

That is what I, and every single creature on earth is born as. It is the domestication process that quiets that truth and brings to life the judge. The people that we surround ourselves with, saying “You’re a loser, a jerk, worthless and much, much worse. We buy into these negative affirmations from others and they become our belief system.

For me, I asked God for help. When I was absolutely sick and tired of being sick and tired. I turned to a higher power of my understanding. I became willing to turn my life and my will over to the care of God as I understand him, and asked; “I am ready, please help me to change my thought process so I can be of better service to you and my brothers and sisters.” He simply replied, “I’ve been waiting for you to ask.” And so my journey began.

 I repeated “I’m a divine magnificent spirit of love and light” over and over, every time a thought or fear jumped up saying I’m not good enough, or I’m not getting what I want. I countered every negative thought with that saying. I’ve done this for over twenty years now and it is my default saying now. Long gone are the days of me questioning my worth, my motives, my insecurities. They do not exist anymore.

It all started with that one simple truth and I liked it, so I asked for more relief and self-awareness. I comprehend that I am not in control of anything today, and let me tell you what a relief that is. I turn it all over to God and trust his will will be done. I am never disappointed, not once when I let Gods will flow to me. I find I receive more than I could have ever asked for in this way of living.

I continue to read books of personal growth and apply what I find that compliments my soul. Trust and surrender. I had an EGO smash moment. I am not my thoughts or my EGO. I learned what humility is. To my surprise it is not the same as humiliation. I learned how to be humble, I learned how to treat Steven with Honor, Dignity, and Respect. Once I learned that, and only when I learned that, was I able to treat everyone else with the same. I learned what having Integrity meant.

I worked long and hard to incorporate all this into my core belief system. All of these are an intricate part of what makes me me today. I continue to do the work and grow and evolve.

“I am proud of the person I am becoming. My mind set has changed. My priorities have changed. My taste has changed. My tolerance has changed. I am evolving.”

I no longer judge people any more. Not by their looks, ideas, beliefs, or character. And when I do find that thought trying to sneak back in, I am quick to recognize that it is my own fear trying to take control again. I just simply give it over to God.

Today it is that easy, but it takes a lot of work. Everyday, all day, over and over to break the cycle of Fear. To break the pattern. To live life on life’s terms without trying to control it, people, places, and situations to fit my needs and wants.

If we all work on our own personal freedom then the world would be free of hate, anger, resentment and all other fear-based emotions. This is after all the way we were supposed to live here on Planet Earth.

Again, while I agree this is demanding work, the reward is so liberating that why wouldn’t one want to put in the effort, to be happy joyous and free. Whatever your belief is all you have to do to start is repeat        

“I am a divine magnificent spirit of love and light”

You are not alone

“To forget the self is to remember that we don’t exist alone, but in relation to other people, to other creatures, to the planet, and the universe.”   ~  Steve Hagen

As I walk through each day on my path of personal freedom, I am not surprised at the amount of people I come across who believe that they are all alone in this game we call life.

I ask them why they feel this way to hear what they feel inside, because I too walked many moons with the same exact feeling of being completely alone in this world.

I do receive the same answers from just about everyone. The first and foremost is “Nobody gets me” “No one could possibly understand what I went through or am going through”

Those are always followed by the three king fears. “I’m not good enough” leads the way, followed by the feeling of rejection and not getting what we want.

         I’ll let you in on a little secret. “You are not alone

Continue reading

Wake up

Every spiritual tradition, East or West, speaks about waking up as an essential part of progress on the path. Whether the goal is God, enlightenment, or the experience of bliss, it is blocked because almost everyone is asleep.

~ Deepak Chopra

WAKE UP! Itis time to wake up, rise up and remember who and what you are. And what are you, you might ask? Simple:

“A divine magnificent spirit of love and light”

That is what you are before you came to earth. That is what you are while here on earth. That is what you will be when you return to were you originally came from.

So why are so many people sleep walking their way through life never really awake?

Continue reading

Willingness to Change

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself”                                                                                       -Leo Tolstoy

Breaking the momentum of past habits is the challenge here. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. In order for me to change my behavior I have to change my thoughts. In order for me to change my thoughts, I have to be completely honest with myself and admit that I needed to look at my character flaws. I had to look at all aspects of my life, not just the ones I’m not afraid of changing, but the ones I’m most afraid of changing. The ones that I don’t even think are flaws. The ones that I am in such denial about that when someone points it out, I am in full military rage ready to nuke your head right off your body. Those are the ones.

Continue reading

Building a relationship with God

For me, the first thing I had to do to begin to build a relationship with God was to accept the fact that the God of my understanding actually cared about me every moment of every single day of my life. I had to let go of the story that God was an old man with a white beard and robe with a staff floating in the sky and judging my every mistake, punishing me with threats of rivers of fire and gnashing of teeth, and not getting into heaven but being damned to hell.

Then I had to ask him straight out, “I need your help.” And mean it with trust and acceptance that he is real and not just willing to, but wanting to help me. It was a powerful moment. And I did just what I said, I got on my knees and simply said, “God I need you; I can’t go on living the way I am. I need your help. Please help me.” This wasn’t my typical foxhole prayer, do this for me and I’ll do this for you. No bartering this time. Just pure earnest ‘I need you.’

God answered me instantly. That night I had a dream about my fear of not being good enough. This one fear ruled my life one hundred percent. All my decisions where based on that fear alone. In the dream a gentleman helped me start the process of letting it go. When I left the house, outside waiting for me was Jesus. He hugged me and said he was proud of the work I did and said that we together where on our way.

Continue reading

Knowledge and Wisdom

By Steven Palmeri

“Wisdom cannot be imparted. Wisdom that a wise man attempts to impart always sounds like foolishness to someone else … Knowledge can be communicated, but not wisdom. One can find it, live it, do wonders through it, but one cannot communicate and teach it.”
― Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha

Knowledge is knowing, Wisdom is doing. If I remain open and receptive when I open a book, listen to a teacher, or sit and meditate, I will have gained knowledge. If I stay open minded, pay attention to everything going on around me, and listen, I will have gained knowledge. If I go to school, do studies, and have new experiences, I will have gained knowledge. If I seek to expand and enhance my walk-through different teachings and modalities, I will have gained knowledge. Once I have done all that, I will have gained knowledge.

Continue reading

Letting go of fear of not getting what you want

“If the rest of the world would only behave; the outlaw safe cracker who thinks society has wronged him; and the alcoholic who has lost all and is locked up. Whatever our protestations, are not most of us concerned with ourselves, our resentments, or our self-pity? Selfishness – self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity”

~The book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Fear of not getting what you want is the third and final fear of the three king fears that rule every decision we as humans make. I talked about how “fear of rejection” is a humans number one fear, while “fear of not being good enough” will cripple us to never really enjoy life to the fullest potential that it has to offer, and today I will talk speak about “fear of not getting what you want” that selfish, self-seeking, self-centered, I’m in control, fear.

          This fear is all about self. It is the best concealed fear of them all. It is so good at hiding itself from you, that you actually feel justified and when in the middle of it. You relish in your self-righteousness. To recognize fear of not getting what you want you have to be completely honest with yourself. Nothing less will help you see clearly on conquering fear of not getting what you want.

Continue reading

Fear of not being good enough

“Just being ourselves is one of the biggest fears of humans. We have learned to live our life trying to satisfy other people’s demands. We have learned to live by other people’s points of view because of the fear of not being accepted and of not being good enough for someone else.”                     ~ Miguel Angel Ruiz

Fear of not being good enough is the second of the three king fears. Last time I talked about the fear of rejection. This time I will talk about not being good enough. As with all these blogs I write, they require you to be very vigilant and truthful to yourself. Are you really open enough to hear the message or are you letting “FEAR” decide ‘This doesn’t apply to me?’ And not being open to see the possibility that you are not in control. It is really, pride, ego, self-centeredness, selfish, self-seeking, fear itself, that keeps you from being open, honest and willing to look at yourself.

Continue reading

Letting Go of Fear of Rejection

There are lots of things a warrior can do at a certain time which he couldn’t do years before. Those things themselves did not change; what changed was his idea of himself. ~ Carlos Castaneda

Fear of rejection is a human beings biggest fear on the planet. It is one of the three king fears that I talk about. Many of us go to great lengths to make sure people accept us. Fear of rejection comes in many forms.

          We lie, cheat, steal, love, worship, idolize, anyone and everything just to get their approval. Some of us could be in a room of one hundred people and it doesn’t matter that ninety-nine love us, if there is just one person who doesn’t like us, we obsess on that one person, wondering why they don’t like us, what we can do to make them like us.

Continue reading

Letting go of control

“If you want real control, Drop the illusion of control”


          “The only thing you will ever have in this world is this moment, and the one thing you will never have is control. Control is nothing but fear. Let go of the idea that you are in control Steven. You control absolutely nothing. The sooner you realize that the sooner you will find personal freedom.”

          That was one of the first things my teacher Jack taught me. I balked, rebelled, and fought him tooth and nail on that point till I was blue in the face. We went rounds for at least a month till I was ready, willing, to listen.

          He said it was quite simple, that I controlled nothing. That fear is what feeds control and in just the thought of me not being in control, feared jumped up with all its might defending that ‘yes I am in control.’ And then he went on to teach me the meaning of what he said.

Continue reading