Letting Go of Fear of Rejection

There are lots of things a warrior can do at a certain time which he couldn’t do years before. Those things themselves did not change; what changed was his idea of himself. ~ Carlos Castaneda

Fear of rejection is a human beings biggest fear on the planet. It is one of the three king fears that I talk about. Many of us go to great lengths to make sure people accept us. Fear of rejection comes in many forms.

          We lie, cheat, steal, love, worship, idolize, anyone and everything just to get their approval. Some of us could be in a room of one hundred people and it doesn’t matter that ninety-nine love us, if there is just one person who doesn’t like us, we obsess on that one person, wondering why they don’t like us, what we can do to make them like us.

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Letting go of control

“If you want real control, Drop the illusion of control”

-Anonymous

          “The only thing you will ever have in this world is this moment, and the one thing you will never have is control. Control is nothing but fear. Let go of the idea that you are in control Steven. You control absolutely nothing. The sooner you realize that the sooner you will find personal freedom.”

          That was one of the first things my teacher Jack taught me. I balked, rebelled, and fought him tooth and nail on that point till I was blue in the face. We went rounds for at least a month till I was ready, willing, to listen.

          He said it was quite simple, that I controlled nothing. That fear is what feeds control and in just the thought of me not being in control, feared jumped up with all its might defending that ‘yes I am in control.’ And then he went on to teach me the meaning of what he said.

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Forgiveness

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.    — Lewis B. Smedes

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.     -– Mahatma Gandhi

The starting point is the self. Only clarity, willingness to change, is effective now. A correct relationship to yourself is primary, for from it flow all possible correct relationships with others and the Divine. In order for me to have a correct relationship with myself, I first have to forgive myself.

Forgiveness of myself is the key that will open all other doors that will lead me out of selfish, self-seeking, self-loathing, egotistical thoughts driven by a hundred forms of fear with the three kings fears of rejection, not being good enough, and not getting what I want leading the way.

As with anything that I do, knowledge is not enough, I have to incorporate it into my core and this requires me to do it over and over and over again. And this holds true with forgiveness as well. Practice is what is needed,

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